I met John in 1994 when we both started at University of Glamorgan on the LL.B. There was one of the "getting to know you" group exercises and we landed up in the same group. We found that we had being Irish and having worked at Ely Hospital (at different times but on the same wards) in common. That established a bond and we spent some time talking about the clients some of whom John was still in touch with. Shortly after that I came upon him one morning crouched down on the pavement looking very bleak. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that his missus had cleared off. That time was very hard for him and he fought it for the first couple of years of the course. How he got through that time? Being the person he was he had so many people who really cared about him. Even with all that though, his brilliance and wit shone through. He was streets ahead of any of us. If there were justice in life he would have ended up being a criminal QC for he had the nerve humour and the sheer brainpower to knock spots off the rest of us when it came to legal points and debates. His ability with the written and spoken word were legendary, he wrote with a beautiful, flowing style, and his ability to speed read AND take it in astounded me. I remember one occasion when we had to do a mock trial and I had backed out of it and John took my place. He trounced the opposition - completely - wiped the floor with them - most humorously as I recall. It was around that time that my then partner and I bought a house in Grangetown and John used to drop in for endless pots of tea and talk into the small hours. He'd phone up and say "put the kettle on" and that would be the day gone! Good times. One of those days he phoned up and just said 'my mother died' and then he came round. He was devastated. She had just gone into hospital for an operation and from what I can recall she'd not been happy about having the operation - and was lost on the operating table. That hit him so hard. I remember him describing walking down the corridor in the hospital and seeing someone with a new baby all happy, and he just thought what the fuck is it all about? That was the essence of our friendship - we talked about the deep things - the stuff beyond the apparent in which we both had an interest. We had a common interest in martial arts and what could be achieved by mastery of the human body cont... I had the feeling with John that he was family - that I would have done anything to protect him, and he me. We often wondered about that feeling and couldn't' put a handle on it or into a "box". Suffice it to say, he was extremely important to me. Rarely a day went or goes by when I don't think of him. I thought of him as my soul mate. I missed him when he went to the East and time went by and I wondered where he was. Then, one year just before Christmas a postcard came from Hong Kong, it was simply entitled "DELIGHT" and it was from John. He came back shortly after that in the February of 2000 and we had a mad delightful reunion when I recall he wanted to go and see his mates and I was brought along. We ended up in several strip clubs down St, Mary Street, as he set off looking for people he had worked with on the doors and I remember in one club standing there surrounded by naked girls - John had vanished! Then I spotted the accountant from work in a flat cap and greasy raincoat. He didn't see me! Another interesting experience. There were many that visit. We passed by Cardiff Magistrates' Court one day and he pointed out with great satisfaction a length of kerbing opposite the Magistrates's court. "Me and my Dad laid those stones" he said. He was quietly both proud and sad about that. Whenever I pass Cardiff Magistrates' Court I am drawn back to that time. He was back for 6 weeks but when he left that time I was very worried for him. He had described such experiences he had gone through in the East and I was scared for him. It was a painful parting and he ceased contact for some time. After months and months without a work I did then think that he was dead. I went through all of that stuff then and so it was hard to go through it again, last month (though I have to say that I for one was very relived that he died at home, in a place he was loved and cared for, well fed and warm). Then he was BACK!!! I remember that he came round for a Sunday roast with my children and new grandchildren. As John talked often about food and cooking and his culinary skills, I have to say that I was very nervous about this leg of Lamb, so much so that when I went to serve him off the plate, somehow, the whole roast ended up in his lap - with gravy. I can't remember what he said, but it was one of his usual sarcastic quips given in the "my learned friend" tone he sometimes used. Ah well. cont... We kept in touch spasmodically after I moved to Ireland and he told me of Carolyn and his house and his job - so important to him. Last year, my house which was rented out (to a very bad tenant so it turned out), had been turned into a brothel and a crack den and it was all really really bad. I was in Ireland and I was frantic with worry. We couldn't get into the house at the time because of the legal delays required and because it was barricaded - after the police had ram raided it a couple of times. When I came back I couldn't' even be in the house alone at that time cos of the people "calling". I emailed John from Ireland - and he sorted out people to clear the house, his very good mate Tariq to deal with decorating and renting, and gave me protection and the pleasure of his company. It was wonderful to see him so happy and so fulfilled in his work. I remember him saying I can do this "now that I am sane". He was so happy to be 'sane' as he put it, but I'd never met a saner warmer hearted person in my life. He helped me sort things, as usual. I owe him so much for that. Doc was so kind, such a good person, so giving of himself for others. He really cared. Didn't matter who you were, if he cared, he cared. He talked movingly on that occasion about his brother Dermot who he had been with in the East, his brother's care and support meant the world to him. He thought alot of that. He aslo spoke with pride about his nephews and neices and the fun he had with them. He was a man of true family values, one of the first things I noticed and respected about him was his clear love of his mother and father. Not commonly displayed by most young men but his values were of the "old world", when it came down to it. I promised I would take him out for a curry next time I was back from Ireland - but I didn't. At Christmas I only saw him very briefly and said I would be back in February and would do the curry then. Well I was back in February, not for the curry, but to say goodbye to the best man. The best man. Doc. John Whelan rest in peace until we meet again.